In a world filled with sequels, remakes, and copycats, it’s not easy being original. Indie publishing, and in particular, Kindle Vella, is dominated by female authors and their heroine-led Romance/Erotica stories. The top 10 Top Faved Vellas all have Romance as one of their two selected categories. If you want reads, bonuses, and success, there’s a ready-made roadmap. Burger King, after all, will often be found across the street from McDonald’s.
Robert Frost once wrote about two paths. One was worn, and easy to follow. The other was barely touched and fraught with obstacles. The narrator looked back on his life with a lamenting sigh about his choice. The path he took, the one less traveled, was one of regret. How much easier it would have been for him had he not dared to be different.
Stephen Sierer took the path less traveled. Will it make all the difference?
As always, no major spoilers beyond what you can already read in the free Episodes, or in the description. This review encompasses the first 200ish tokens of the Vella. Tokens spent were my own.
Squared Circle is billed as a Young Adult/Humor serial centered on the lives of producers and backstage workers of Millennium Championship Wrestling (MCW). The story opens with the company’s biggest show of the year: Powerslam. Tensions are high, and hopes are even higher, what could go wrong?
Episode one serves as a bit of a disjointed opener flowing through the various moving parts of the show. The reader is scrambled around with not much to grapple onto until we lock arms with Geoff Setliff, the second in command to MCW’s version of Vince McMahon: Mark Cruise. Even then, the episode continues to wander with Geoff somewhat the center of attention. We’re also introduced to Kelly Shepperd, Cruise’s assistant, whom the reader can glean will inevitably be Geoff’s love interest.
Despite the chaotic nature of the Episode, which I surmised was Sierer’s meta way of showing what it must feel like to be the ones producing such an event, Powerslam is a raging success. This will likely be something that comes into play during next year’s Powerslam. Just a hunch.
The narrative doesn’t really take off until episode 2.
Geoff is an “every-man.” He and the reader simultaneously find out by word of Hollywood Hulk Hogan stand-in, Malibu Mack Mason, that Geoff was a bit of a party animal after Powerslam. Apparently, he doesn’t remember the romantic rendezvous he had with a well-known woman the night before. Everyone knows, including Kelly (from what we can tell)…except for Geoff.
For some reason, Geoff’s good friend, Mack, won’t tell him who the mystery woman is because she swore him not to tell. Bro-code violations aside, the moment gave off a real rapey vibe. Evidently, only men can consent to sex when drunk. A pure moment of fiction following reality.
I set aside my thoughts about how weird and creepy this is because it’s supposed to be a comedy. A schadenfreude moment was missed here by not giving Geoff the clap, or at least joking about him contracting herpes. The moment was literally left at Geoff being too drunk to consent to sex with a mystery woman.
Geoff pieces together that this mystery woman must be the “I-can’t-believe-how-suddenly-hot-she-is” Kelly in a moment rivaling a late 90’s type of reveal that Rachel Leigh Cook is indeed a banging hottie. He and Kelly are bequeathed the unenviable delight of running MCW stateside with the disgruntled bottom card talent while Cruise and the main attractions of MCW, including Mack Mason, work the international circuit. Kelly leaves the meeting before Geoff can confirm if she’s the woman he fooled around with, and the stage (or ring, if you will) is set for ironic Hijinx.
Squared Circle has a deep cast of eclectic characters, and you can tell Sierer has notebooks filled with intricate backstories for all of them. It’s one of the stronger elements of the Vella. He also displays a deep understanding of the industry and its lingo, bringing an aura of realism and believability to the Vella. The story’s premise is fresh. The situations are rife with potential. The problem arises that the story’s brisk, whirlwind nature doesn’t linger at the right moments to build up to big twists or allow shocking reveals to land with gusto. Instead, we’re transported somewhere else to get an “as you know” moment, followed by a well-written scene with another character we’d like to get to know, but never do.
I’m looking at you, Episode 5.
Despite a floating head problem, and some awkward humor that doesn’t quite land or go dark enough to make you go “Holy shit, it went there,” Episodes 2 and 3 weave together a compelling story that could have served for the premise of at least 10 more episodes. The interactions between Kelly and Geoff are relatable, even if it is weird that a week has gone by and there still isn’t a conversation or resolution to the “Did Geoff bang Kelly” question. Cast Episode 1 aside, start with Episode 2. The narrative is much cleaner.
If I hadn’t committed a block of tokens to several Episodes, I probably would have stopped after Episode 4. That would have been a shame. The narrative was once again confusing and too avant-garde compared to what had been established in Ep. 2-3. By Episode 5, when the straight-forward narrative returns, the brimming cup of tension that had been poured in Ep. 2 and 3 had been discarded for a new twist. It was a real letdown.
The twist is fantastic. But it wasn’t earned. Kelly and Geoff’s sexual tension and chemistry, and the crazy misfits they must contend with, don’t get any playing time leading up to the twist. None of this is more prevalent than it is with the character Max Mason, the future of MCW. He’s mostly reduced to a one-note punchline in the beginning before undergoing a massive character arc in the span of one paragraph. I wish I could’ve seen Kelly and Geoff deal with the company before the twist, and begin to think they’re proving themselves, before ripping out their souls. It would’ve also allowed more development of Max. Instead, a time jump just washes it all away. Another problem is heaped onto their shoulders before we see if they’re capable of ordering a cup of coffee, including vultures from a rival wrestling company.
Geoff and Kelly are competent enough characters to lead a story. When Geoff goes to Mexico, we finally see him affecting the story rather than the story happening to him. It would be great if we could see more of that, and not have it summarized through large swaths of dialogue, which is how most of the narrative is revealed to the reader.
Max Mason has all the hallmarks of a self-absorbed anti-hero in the vein of Thorin Oakenshield. Will he or won’t he be a good leader who takes advice from those around him? Will he or won’t he let the belt go to who the fans want it to go to? Will Sierer have the courage to let Mason’s development take longer, and be more bullheaded?
Jimmy Rude is an antagonist who I hope gives MCW great fits.
It’s all there, dammit. Just…ugh.
Squared Circle is a story that fully knows where it wants to go and how to produce big-time ideas. Yet, in its current form, is unable to unlock the magic. There’s a lot of telling, not enough descriptions to visualize the scenes, and an uneven narrative in both pace and tone that laughs in moments that should be the somber chaser to allow the comedy to thrive or doesn’t go far enough if it wants to be a dark comedy.
2/5 stars.
As a teenager, Monday Night Raw and Thursday Night Smackdown were staples in my viewing diet. I was there for the collapse of WCW and the annexation of ECW. I share a birthday and home state with Stone Cold Steve Austin. It must’ve been determined before the foundation of the world that I would always have a soft spot for the days of the Attitude Era. The Rock. Triple-H. HBK. Y2J. The Undertaker! My brother and I would take turns dolling out finishers to one another. There were hundreds of Swanton Bombs and Stone Cold Stunners into the pool, and Rock Bottoms on the bedroom floor. It is for this reason that I scooped up around 200 tokens worth of Squared Circle.
Some of the characters and their dialogue are humorous. A few of the situations make you smirk. Overall, the audience who would find most of the lines funny probably doesn’t read or wouldn’t pick up something like this.
I want to know the fate of MCW, Geoff and Kelly’s relationship (will sex complicate things), the inter-company rivalry with AWA, and the slate of new wrestlers who must come out of the shadow of their predecessors. I’m unsure if Sierer plans on converting this into a novel once it’s done. When that happens, I will probably revisit the story and hope its face turn finally goes over.
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