Thank you all for coming back for another round of overly analytical reviews by yours truly. Today, I am dissecting the Top Faved Vella, “Enemy Mine” by Andi King.
Yes, I know it’s a romance. I believe I am more than qualified to tackle this genre, and after I outline my points, I’m sure you’ll all be in lockstep with me.
Reviews can be a delicate matter because our stories are a piece of us. Authors can be protective of them much like their own children. I mean, I kind of went bat-shit crazy when a random author from England somehow got pegged as a co-author on one of my stories. It took Amazon a week to resolve the issue, and only after the other author got involved.
The whole experience didn’t feel good.
Our stories can seem like children (Kids are special. They rank above everything. Even “fur babies”. Sorry-not-sorry) because once they’re grown up and released beyond our care, they must stand on their own. Most of the time, they will act appropriately, make you proud, and be all-around fantastic. Eventually, they’ll meet someone who doesn’t like them, and as a parent, you’ve got to live with that.
My son is a smart, inquisitive, and caring boy, yet there were still kids at school who told him mean things. It didn’t matter what my son would do, or how he was going to act, the other kid was still going to be a snot-nose brat who told my son he should die because no one would miss him.
Authors must be willing to send their manuscripts out for all eyes to look at. Once it is out of your mind and in the aether, it should be able to stand on its own.
Kids are resilient, and so are stories.
One of the highest-grossing movies of 2023, Super Mario Brothers, was hated by critics. I’ve heard “The movie simply wasn’t meant for them,” as evidenced by the huge disparity in the Rotten Tomatoes score from critics vs. the audience. The YouTube channel, The Closer Look, poignantly said the critics are paid to see hundreds of movies a year, all with the same themes and mangled plot points, that only something truly different would move the needle for them. And that’s true.
If you’re into a certain brand of comedy that’s more clean-cut, Bill Burr won’t do it for you.
Yet, nostalgia and genre aside, people ought to be honest with themselves about what they’re truly experiencing. Super Mario Bros. sucked. It had no plot. No real development. The hero wanders aimlessly. The whole hero's journey had no impact on anything because the ending of the movie still would’ve turned out the same way had our heroes never left the Mushroom Kingdom.
The only real message the film delivers is that even if you’re plucky, hardworking, and smart, you still suck and are a loser unless you take magic mushrooms that make you taller, stronger, and better. Drugs make the world more tolerable. If you really want to escape your problems as a broke, loser adult who lives with his mom and dad because you can’t cut it as a plumber, take something akin to speed so you can get super aggressive, elevate your physical attributes, and take a punch without feeling it.
There comes a point where it doesn’t matter if someone’s the intended audience or not. A book or film should deliver on its promise of a story and execute the contract it made with the reader/audience. Even Paw Patrol has character arcs, motifs, and protagonists that affect the plot. SMB did not.
Enter my review of Enemy Mine by Andi King.
I scooped this Romantic Vella on a chosen one claim, as I often do (and don’t label it erotica..a love-hate battle, mostly hate, that King has with the Amazon algorithm). I unlocked around the first 200 tokens worth of the Vella to give an honest review. All tokens were mine. The review was not solicited.
The Vella centers on a relatable question: What would YOU do if you started a job working for someone who bullied you in high school?
This is an intriguing question that has the potential to draw in people outside of the Romance genre. The category just so happens to be the lens from which we view the question. My immediate gut feeling was this was unfortunate.
To prepare for my review, and to give Enemy Mine the service it deserves, I did some research on the genre. The Romance Writers of America defines two central elements to every romance story:
1. It must have a romance central to the plot (dur). Everything serves the main romance (this is important). There can be subplots, but if they don’t work to advance the central romance, then they’re unimportant.
2. There must be an emotionally satisfying and happy ending relating to the central romance.
We have a contract.
While typical Sci-Fi thrillers and Epic Fantasies might use their genres to look at a central motif, with the subplots adding depth to the question, Romance seems to use the motif to examine its genre.
Where a piece of literary fiction may use its ending to decree the truth of the motif, the romance ending is set. It must be happy. Whatever questions it examines about life and relationships, whatever the outcome, is secondary to delivering a happy ending.
To prove this, look at two well-respected movies with good writing and good acting: The Notebook vs The Dark Knight. The Dark Knight used its genre to examine an idea: when pushed, anyone can be corrupted, and society is bad. The Notebook asks questions about family status and obligation vs. love, but ultimately the question bowed to the Romance.
OK. It is what it is. How does Enemy Mine stack up?
The answer: it surprised me.
Anna is a former high school nerd who was your typical Anne Hathaway from the first half of Princess Diaries before redefining herself amongst people she didn’t know after escaping her awful life. King crafted this idea to perfection. Not only was it relatable, because who hasn’t used the transition from one place to another to turn themselves into something they’re not, but King delved into the psyche of Anne to the point where not even Anne REALLY knows what she’s upset about (more on this later).
The first thing that came to my mind was the time I met with my friend Rus after not having seen him for a few years. I walked into the University sports bar as a 30-something father of three, in a place that seemed oddly strange to be at, and he was bald. We had remained Facebook friends, but none of his pictures showed the change. When asked about it, he said he had been wanting to shave his head for a while and used the opportunity to make the switch when he moved from the DFW area to south Texas. The reasoning: no one in South Texas had the vision of him with hair, so it was easier to forge a new identity.
The power of a fresh start can’t be understated.
And THAT is really what Anna’s struggle is about in this Vella. The power she thought she had in her new life was stripped from her when a dream job in her dream city turned out to be under the supervision of the very man who set her on her life-redefining journey: the still-hunky Darren Caulfield. The masterfully done thing about this is King doesn’t reveal this right away.
Early on, the focus is clearly on Anna and how she FEELS in the moment when face-to-face with Darren. King performs a clever sleight of hand that has you thinking Anna’s real trauma is with being around a bully. Sure. It’s relatable, but it's kind of a skin-deep cliché that only gets you so far. As the narrative progresses, and you get more insight into Anna’s sleepless nights, stressed-out workday, and her every attempt to rebuff a seemingly reformed and contrite Darren, you begin to pick up on what her real issue is.
Darren threatens the transformation Anna went through to go from ugly duckling to beautiful swan.
The narrative weaves little tidbits here and there about Anna’s change and just how ghoulish she was in high school. Even Anna says for herself she’s now “hot” and talks about how hard she tried to change. She acknowledges the ghoul that no one else in her new life gets to see, without calling herself a ghoul. Her outward actions say there was never anything wrong with her, but her thoughts, aggression, and actions all tell a different story.
This struggle for identity is explored through one of the more powerful relationships in the story: that between Anna and her father. The conversations between them seem like they must’ve been ripped from King’s personal life because they’re incredibly authentic.
The father also knows Anna’s past. As a father of two girls myself, one who just started high school and is on the varsity cheerleading squad, I can attest that real men will acknowledge the lady their princess is becoming but will always see them as the baby girl who wants to paint their nails and have tea parties.
No matter how old they are, they will also need our protection and our advice, and the strongest thing to do is to say your peace, step back, and let them make their own choices. They will make the wrong ones from time to time. Be there to catch them when that happens.
The dad’s advice to Anna is to not take the job, which everyone knows is not going to happen because there would be no story if she didn’t. He reasoned the trauma of Darren’s actions in the past is too great for Anna to be successful, and he counsels her to leave. But since the REAL problem with Anna is not the pain of being bullied by a teenager, but leaving the person she hates (herself) in the past, this isn’t an option. Going back to her dad would return her to who she was.
Enemy Mine can’t help but fall into a few genre cliches. After all, it wouldn’t be a Romance story if it didn’t. What I’ve noticed since starting my Vella journey in March are all the “reversal” fantasies that verge on revenge porn for the jilted and maybe disgruntled suburban housewife, or female professional fighting to make it in corporate America.
About a decade ago, the most popular Romance story was an erotic fanfiction turned overnight sensation about a domineering boss, and his subtly beautiful, and slightly emotionally frail personal assistant: 50 Shades of Gray. Now, there are “Reverse Harem” stories centering on a woman who bangs her several male consorts, female werewolves becoming alpha queens and ruling their men in domineering fashion, and nerds turned banging hotties who want nothing more than to shove their boss’ face into their muff.
It's almost as if the shitty way men live (predominately USED-TO) has a lot of appeal. Power has appeal. Deep down, based on the genre, it would seem those who consume Romance long for that power. It’s a way to feel the thrill of dominating someone else without guilt. If these attributes belong to a man, it’s sexist and despicable. Imbue them onto a woman, and it’s a dirty fantasy the reader longs to live out.
Weird how that works.
Anna exemplifies this to a tee. Despite being picked on in high school, when Darren stripped her worth down and judged her goofy looks, Anna ended up doing the same things to Darren as an adult. He longs to make amends with her, singing about it at a company gathering, calling her into his office to have a professional heart-to-heart, and she wants none of it. He even condemns a fellow employee who is treating Anna like shit, and she gets mad at Darren.
Who Darren is NOW doesn’t matter. What does matter are his chiseled features, rock-hard abs, and a tongue she would love to work out. It keeps her up at night.
She muses that he’s only pursuing her or being nice because she’s now hot. But that’s not the case. Darren could probably bang any hottie he wanted. He’s incredibly successful, sings well, and good-looking. What Instagram thirst trap wouldn’t try poking a hole in his condoms?
We have the ultimate proof that he’s changed in Episode 1, which further highlights Anna’s delusion. When Anna interviewed for the job, she was supposed to be meeting with someone else. When Darren saw her name, he took the interview, and it explicitly said that he doesn’t meet with potential employees until the second interview, or when they’ve already secured the position. Darren flat out says he told everyone he was taking the meeting with Anna. He saw her name come across his desk, and he knew who it was.
He hadn’t seen her yet.
Somewhere between the childhood jerk and the contrite, successful adult, Darren grew up. But Anna didn’t.
All. The. Things. Bad. About. Darren. As. A. Teenager. Anna. Is. Now.
Anna spends most of the beginning pretending she’s sickened by Darren because of what he used to be, all the while secretly judging him for the same features he used to judge her while they were kids.
How’s that for a reversal? Bravo.
In Episode 8, she says his pursuit of her bordered on harassment and was just his bullying behavior from a bygone era, even though Darren claimed he’s concerned for her. If Darren were fat and ugly, he’d be reported to the police. But because he’s hunky, it’s kind of a fetish. The thin line between flirting and sexual harassment in 2023. Or…Anna secretly knows what she’s doing. She wants him to like her to finally kill the ghoul of high school’s past.
“When I found my key, I stabbed it into the lock above the doorknob and shoved open the door, pretending it was Darren’s chest I was poking as I drove him back in outrage.
After my horrible history with him, how could I be attracted to him? While he wasn’t the same person he was in high school, I still wasn’t even close to comfortable around him. It couldn’t simply be his appearance, overwhelming as it was. He’d been just as overwhelming in high school, but after that first day, I had definitely not been attracted to him.”
Anna then goes on to wrestle with her shallowness and states just how incredibly professional Darren is while at work, trying hard to win her forgiveness. She even acknowledges his demeanor couldn’t possibly be an act. He’s legitimately humbling himself, and she wants none of it…unless it’s his sweaty body pressed against hers.
Then, we get the real confirmation.
“Maybe he thought if I thought he found me attractive, I’d be more susceptible to an apology.
I wouldn’t.
I wouldn’t, because I knew there was absolutely no way he could be attracted to a girl he’d abused in school…We still had that ugly history. Everything I did or said probably reminded him of it.”
Did it, really, though, Anna? Did it remind Darren or you?
Darren tells Anna, after confronting a co-worker for his continued office misconduct, that she unintentionally put herself into the co-worker’s shoes while Darren was scolding him. But it’s not unintentional. Anna is on a mission to kill who she used to be. Darren is in the way.
I only unlocked the first 200 tokens or so. I am unsure how this concept plays out. Does the story further explore Anna’s attempt to erase her past self? Or does it take the easy road and make it about the skin-deep bully-turned-lovable-hunk coming together to sixty-nine on a Hawaiian beach as they live happily ever after…and maybe even get married?
Once again, I’m reminded of the “Super Mario Brothers.” The movie gobbled up cash from moviegoers because it delivered familiar music, seeing the levels as fully thought-out set
pieces, and gave that familiar happy ending, but failed to deliver on the contract of a narrative that matters or a protagonist who affects the plot and learns something. I’m sure Amy from Big Bang Theory would be telling Sheldon the same thing.
Kids wanted something shiny and silly, after all…they like Paw Patrol for some reason…and parents wanted to reconnect with their N64 and Super Nintendo. The plot and the hero’s journey were afterthoughts.
The movie gave most audiences what they wanted. But it sucked. The producers are probably wiping their tears with wads of 100-dollar bills.
My verdict for Enemy Mine: 4 out of 5 stars.
I am unsure if my infatuation with Anna’s true inner struggle in a genre in which I didn’t expect it elevated my review higher than it should have, or if my disappointment of the concept being cast aside for an atypical love story prevented it from earning an extra star.
At the end of the day, Enemy Mine delivers on its promise of a Romance-centered story. Super Mario Brothers, while jammed packed with childhood memories, failed to deliver on a hero’s journey, or any meaningful theme. Even the dreadfully bad 90’s version did that. That’s where Enemy Mine still succeeded, in my eyes, despite me not being its intended audience.
It executed its contract with me.
The bonus of a layered protagonist hellbent on becoming someone new, fighting her own demons, and forgiving herself and others, elevates this story beyond a typical Romance. It moved the proverbial needle.
It was a child who met someone that they shouldn’t get along with, and they ended up chilling for a beer.
Knowing what I do about the author, and her self-described dislike for unhappy endings, it will likely succeed in the second qualifier outlined by the Romance Writers of America.
If you’re into smart, slow-burn romances that eventually explode into a steamy, wet roll in the sack that sometimes earns this Vella the dreaded “erotica” tag, then Enemy Mine is for you. It will even give you meaningful secondary character interactions, realistic relationships, and one heck of a nutjob protagonist who should probably see a shrink to work out her own issues.
This would be killer as a psychological thriller with a romantic subplot where it could really sink its teeth into a motif without the burden of the Romance genre shackles.
Andi, we’re waiting for it…
If you liked this review, be sure to check out my dissections of “The Valmoran Chronicles” by Poppy Orion, “Reverse Ella: Superheros” of Kaimas by Heidi Harris, and “Squared Circle” by Steve Sierer, or take a gander at the guest review for my Vella, “The Adventures of Rascal Boy and Marionette” done by BooksByJennell.
Thank you for stopping by!
I’m currently picking out the next tribute for September and October. If you’d like to be considered, drop a comment on this blog post.
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